Let Me Come Home
by Tinkerpanda
Summary: Jules, still recovering from the gunshot wound that nearly killed her, returns to the SRU.  Greg offers support and some fatherly advice.


_Hey guys - as usual I own absolutely nothing at all. _

_I suck at titles and summaries, so excuse that. Pulled the name from the song Home by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes (major luff). Which I ALSO don't own.  
_

_This is kind of partnered to my last story (Sometimes You Get What You Need) where Sam talks to Greg about his breakup with Jules. This time it's Jules' turn in the hotseat. It's set sometime around The Perfect Family while Sam is away._

_Enjoy!_

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The sun had barely peaked over the still-sleepy city of Toronto, its rosy warmth reflected in the tall glass and metal skyscrapers that shot forth from the heart of its sprawling downtown. Cars were already jammed bumper to shining bumper in the narrow streets, clogging the intersections parking lots. Pedestrians scampered between buildings, carefully wrapped in layers of fleecy wool and slick down. Heads bent against the chill winds, they pressed on, clutching their scarves to their necks with mitted hands.

Jules wound her jeep through the maze of cars, ignoring the irritated blast of an impatient driver's horn. This was the city – the lives – that she had vowed to protect. The reason she'd taken a bullet to the chest months before.

Flashing her ID, she pulled through the Toronto Police Service's headquarters. Slowly, she navigated past the bustling core of sturdy buildings, the rows of cruises to the corner that served as home to the SRU.

Taking a deep breath, she unhooked the latch of her seatbelt and slid out of the car into the frigid morning air. Her breath, icy cold, swirled around her in a cloud and the wind whipped her dark hair around her face.

Greg had called last night, asking her to come today. He said the four ominous words every officer hates to hear: _We need to talk. _She wished she had never answered the phone. She wished she had said no. Because she wasn't sure she was ready for this.

Jules stood, frozen still, outside the squat concrete block that served as the SRU's home. She remembered the first day she'd stepped foot through those doors. She'd been twenty-seven years old with a solid eight years of service tucked firmly beneath her belt, and she'd been determined to make that final leap to the elite urban policing division. She'd set her sights on it when she'd transferred from Calgary's RCMP division to the Ontario Provincial Police a half-dozen years before. And she'd been damned sure of herself.

She'd rocked the entrance exams, the practice runs and shooting trials and had become the first woman to enter those hallowed halls as a constable of the Strategic Response Unit.

HQ had never intimidated her before. She'd always loved it – revered it. The SRU was a temple, and Jules' its' faithful attendant. She couldn't describe the feeling that flooded her every time she set foot inside those doors. Belonging, perhaps, or strength. A sense of purpose. They buzzed through her, resonating through every nerve and muscle.

But it had been three long month since she'd walked the halls of the SRU as a uniformed member of the team. Since she'd been shot she'd only been back once. And even then it had hurt. It had felt wrong to stand there and to know that she wasn't a member of the team anymore. That she had been replaced. She'd known, since the first coherent moments since the shooting, that she'd have to claw and fight her way back onto Team One. And that it wouldn't be easy.

But she hadn't known that it would be _this _hard.

What if it never felt like home again? What if they didn't need, or worse, want her back? What would she do?

She licked her lips and wished, not for the first time that day, wished that Sam had been beside her.

Every step of her recovery, he'd been right there next to her. He'd been there when she'd woken up, tired and confused. He'd been the one to hold her hand through the worst of the pain. He was the one who she'd leaned on as she took those first shaky steps. He'd been the one who came every single day, regardless of how tired he was, so she wouldn't have to be alone. He was the one who'd picked her up. He was the one who'd protected her. And he was the one who'd kept her sane.

And now it was over. He was the one man in her life she really needed. And the one man she absolutely could not have. So she'd severed it. She'd done it for the best. She'd ended things for both of them.

And it felt like a tornado had ripped through her life, leaving a trail of hideous destruction in its wake. There was a hole where something complete had once been, hideous and gaping.

Every day she missed him. Every day she missed the part of herself that she'd stupidly given to him.

Standing there, looking up at the place that she'd once felt so at home, she wished he was there with her. Squeezing her hand to let her know that it was okay – that he believed in her. But that was part of the problem too. Julianna Callaghan didn't want to rely on anyone. She couldn't afford to need Sam.

She took a deep breath and, bracing herself, she pushed through the heavy metal doors. Her steps echoed against the concrete, bounding off the sullen grey walls. The silence was unbearable. It hurt to think of what her life would be like it she lost this place forever.

"Hey Jules!" Winnie waved from her seat behind the counter. "You look amazing. How do you feel?"

"Right as rain." Jules responded easily. If you could overlook the fact that the butterflies in her stomach had progressed to hornets, she was _perfectly _fine. A bead of sweat trailed down the nape of her neck. She pressed her clammy hand against the thighs of her jeans, smiling now. "Boss here?" She asked. Winnie jerked a thumb towards the conference room Greg favoured for long hours of paper work.

"Thanks Win." She called, hurrying now. She absently registered the phone ringing as she strode across the lobby. Through the open metal doorway she spotted her boss, dress in his SRU uniform and her nervousness abated. Greg was hunched over the long metal table, head gleaming beneath the harsh light.

"You're going to strain your eyes." She said, stepping into the room.

"Jules." His smile was warm and genuine as he rose to greet her. He pulled her into a hug, clasping strong arms around her. She closed her eyes for a moment. She'd missed the team, but she'd missed Greg especially. He was a mentor to her and, in many ways, a father. "You look … healthy."

"Thanks." She joked, doing a quick spin. "All parts, fully functional."

"I'll bet." He said. "I know that you've worked hard. I'm proud of you Jules. It's not easy to come back from something like that. They weren't sure you'd make it through surgery. You proved them wrong. When they said that you wouldn't ever be the same again physically you proved them wrong again." Greg clapped a hand over her shoulder.

It was damned true. She'd struggled, she'd sweated, she'd pushed herself until she'd been sure there was nothing left. When the doctors had said that movement on her left side would probably be slow and limited for years to come she'd fought against that diagnosis. She'd carefully strengthened the muscles, building and stretching them until with hours of practice and exercise.

"Yeah. Lots of pyshio." She said. She wasn't one to complain about hard work.

"You've been putting in long hours at the range too."

"Needed something to do to keep me from being bored to distraction." She shrugged. Truthfully, she needed any edge she could get. If she was going to re-earn her position on the team, she'd have to make sure that she was the _very _best of the best. And that included topping her previous records in accuracy and speed.

"You want back on the team." Greg stated simply.

"More than anything." She said instantly. She didn't just _want _it. She _needed _it.

"You know that we miss you." He said slowly, rubbing a hand absently over his mouth. "And that we've been looking forward to you coming back."

She frowned. She sensed a 'but' coming.

"But we've got a few things to talk about before you come back."

"Okay." She said slowly. Her heart thudded to a stop in her chest. "All right."

Unconciously she shifted so she could see the door, giving it a quick sweep before returning her gaze to Parker. He smiled knowingly.

"He's gone." He said simply. And her heart dropped to her feet. He was gone? Just like that? She hadn't spoken to him in nine days – the longest period since she'd known him. She'd called – once – and he hadn't answered. It had stung because she damned well knew he'd be at home, having a post-game beer. It had been a long week. His absence hurt.

But she never thought he'd be gone for good. She had never imaged he'd leave without saying goodbye.

"What?" She asked numbly. She almost didn't recognize her own voice, ragged and panicked, through the haze of confusion.

"He's taken two weeks paid vacation." Parker explained patiently. "He needed some time off. It's been a long and hard year for Sam."

Jules felt like laying her head down against the cool surface of the table. The relief was overwhelming.

"Why don't you sit." Greg motioned to a seat with his a hand. Swallowing the fear that had risen in her throat she carefully lowered herself into it. She forced herself to meet his gaze but his eyes were unreadable.

"Jules. I know that you and Sam were seeing each other." Greg said softly.

She wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't lie and deny it – not to this man. She'd let him down. She'd put her own selfish needs before the team's safety. He was disappointed in her, she was certain. She had to face up to the choices she'd made now.

"Yes." She admitted, her voice audibly shaky. "Yes we were." She repeated, stronger this time.

"I also know that you ended things." He said. "I can see that you didn't want to. You and Sam were very close. I imagine it was hard to say goodbye."

Harder than she'd have ever thought. She silently nodded.

"Especially after all you've been through together, having to walk away must have been very difficult. But you didn't really have a choice – it was necessary, Jules. If it came to the commander's attention you'd have both been expelled from the SRU."

"That's why I broke it off." She said slowly.

"I know. You were trying to protect both of you. Sam won't see that right away. Sam lives in the moment. You, on the other hand, you like to plan things out. You like things neat and orderly. Organized. You don't like surprises, Jules. You ration your way through decisions. Sam goes on gut instinct." Greg explained. Jules couldn't bear the sympathy in his eyes. She stared down at her hands instead and, seeing their white-knuckled grip on each other, forced herself to relax her grip.

"He's going to be angry with me. But I did it for him too." She said quietly.

"I know. He's hurting right now but he'll come around." Greg assured her. She hoped so. Because underneath it all she missed him. As her teammate and friend, not just her lover. And the thought that he'd stay angry with her had her stomach clenching in tight knots.

Greg gave her a comforting smile. "Just give him some time. He'll brood it through."

She nodded solemnly. "You're probably worried about us being on the same team again."

"I am. I have to consider the possibility that you'd be distracted by each other. I need to know that you'll have complete focus on the job. That, at the end of the day, you can pull together as teammates and partners and fulfill your duties."

"We will, Sarge." Jules promised.

"I hope so. Because I care about you both. You are talented, dedicated, brave, loyal people. And there is nobody that I would rather serve with. But if you can't work together we're going to have a pretty big problem."

"It won't be an issue, Sarge."

"Make sure of that, Jules. I can't have to second guessing your decision on the job. I can't have jealousy between the two of you. If Sam starts dating again tomorrow are you going to be fine with that?"

The image of Sam rolling across the bed they'd shared with another woman seared, fast and hard, her brain. Pressing her fingers to her weary eyes she sighed. "I won't lie and say I'd be thrilled for him. But it wouldn't change how I do my job. He's my teammate and I'd do whatever it takes to protect him. He did it for me."

She remembered his voice, calling to her, as she lay on the roof, blood pumping through the punctured vest and seeping onto the wooden slats. _Jules. Jules stay with me, Jules._ His dark figure crouched over her, hand pressing to her chest painfully hard. The reverberations of bullets hitting the shield shook her body. They gave a solid clink as the they rebounded off the metal barrier and fell to the ground. She tried to breathe – to speak, but the pressure in her chest was too great. Her vision greyed. She fought her drooping eyelids, forcing them open. She could feel the shadow of unconsciousness creeping ever closer.

_Stay with me Jules_.

He'd given her a reason to fight. His voice had kept her with him, fighting to stay away. To stay alive. He'd shielded and protected her.

"Team One is family. Sam's part of that." Jules said slowly. "If you give us the chance we'll prove to you that we can do it."

"Yes you will." Greg agreed.

Jules let out a deep breath. "Thank you Sarge."

"I know it hasn't been easy for you. You had to watch as we filled your spot on the team. You weren't sure if you'd walk again and we were picking out a replacement. It's been tough for everyone."

"I was worried things would change when I got back. I was worried there would be space for me anymore." She admitted.

"Jules, there will always be room for you. You have another three weeks of doctor-ordered recovery time, but when the commander clears your paperwork we'll welcome you with open arms."

Tears sprung to her eyes. Dashing them away with the back of her hand, she pulled him into a gruff and hard hug. Turning her face into his shoulder she hid her tears.

"We've missed you." He murmured, stroking a hand down her hair.

"I've missed you too." Her voice was broken, struggling to choke back on the wave of emotion clutching at her throat. "I should go."

Greg patted her arm, smiling down at her. "It's good to have you back."

It was good to _be _back, Jules though, striding through the lobby once more. She'd been wrong to be scared of this place – to worry that it wouldn't feel the same. SRU was home – to her and the family she'd built here. And nothing would ever change that.


End file.
